Tell me what the Rain Knows
by Crazychick815
Summary: Songfic Hige's feelings at the loss of a friend. Spoilers! Its better that you think!


_**Tell Me What the Rain Knows**_

_Tell me what the rain knows_

_O are these the Tears of Ages_

_That wash away the Wolf's Way_

_And leave not a trace of the day?_

His heart had constricted at what he saw, the sight was one he would have never had wanted to see, there on the snow covered in blood and with his eyes closed was Toboe and next to him . . ."Pops!" Was the cry he heard Blue make from his side as she ran franticly to where the old man was. _No . . . this can't be true I can't be seeing this. Toboe? _He hadn't realized it but he had said the boys name out loud and he noticed his voice seemed shaky.

He couldn't make himself care about the lifeless eyes of Quent all he could think about was the young wolf that lay there and the ever-growing pain in his chest.

And like that everything seemed to go so far away . . . In slow motion he saw Blue telling the old man to not leave her, Tsume to one side clearly distraught pain all over his face, Kiba with a look of shock one he new he himself had and Cheza with her ever present sad gaze all of them seemed so far away.

_Tell me what the rain knows_

_O is this the flood of fortune_

_That pours itself upon me?_

O see how I drown in this sea 

Slowly he had walked nearer to them, and with each step it had been harder and harder to breath. He had known that around him the others where talking and that their hearts where in the same chaos as his. And as if to voice it out Cheza started to sing, the soft tune that Toboe had liked so much.

That did it, that made the horrible feelings surface, clear as day . . . Disbelieve that this was happening, pain at losing a friend, anger at not being there to protect him and then huge and immense grief that tour at his inside like a vicious monster followed by deep sorrow at knowing this was the last goodbye and even then he was not there to here the final farewells for he had already left them.

_Hark, hear the howl that eats the moon alive_

_Your fur is on fire_

_The smoke turns the whole sky raven black_

_And the world upon your back will crack_

And now he found himself thinking about that moment as he with Blue, Kiba, Cheza and the human walked to their goal that for some reason to him did not seem so important anymore. Tsume had staid behind, doing what he had refused to do . . . he was saying goodbye.

So they walked along the snow going forward, always going forward but now the trip was being done with one less, one lost and it seemed wrong, it seemed unfair, it seemed cruel . . . And he knew Blue was worried about him, she kept glancing at him every so often and just for her he would smile never betraying the roaring battle inside him.

_Where will you go_

_Now you've no home?_

And as they stood in front of the Three of Seeds now only Cheza, Kiba, Blue, himself and Tsume who had finally got there. And as he saw Tsume he regretted his decision. As he gazed at the final door to the end he regretted not saying goodbye to his friend, but what would he have he said?

Would have he screamed that it was not right that he who had betrayed his friends was there so near Paradise while he who had constant faith and loyalty was not?

Would he had said that it was unfair that Toboe had walked so much and gone through so much to die so close at the end?

That it was cruel that someone so young had been robed of the chance at reaching his dream! Well the answer was yes! He would have screamed at the heavens his hate for them, how he detested fait and its cruel game how much he hated himself and then he would ask himself what was the reason for Paradise if it took everything you cared for away in the process of getting there.

_Let the rain wash away your last days_

But then after the anger and despair passed the truth would be there. His friend had died for a cause and for a dream he desperately believed in and even do it sounds strange he was sure that Toboe was happy. And if he remained quiet enough he would have been able to hear his friend. In fact he could hear him now _Hige you have to keep going! Come on Hige don't let this be all for nothing . . . _And as that thought was in his head Hige decided he would not let his friends sacrifice be in vain he would not let Toboe's dream die. He would find Paradise for him, he would reach it and no one was going to stop him not even his grief.

_Good-bye Toboe . . ._


End file.
